Things I wish I learned at school…

Educators have far exceeded all expectations during the most challenging school year in history

By Joyce Whitby

We support #SELDAY 2021 – March 26, 2021 – https://selday.org/

One silver lining about the school closings, quarantines and remote/hybrid learning  since March 2020 is that parents are more engaged in their children’s education than ever before in our history. Normally, parents are very engaged in early childhood education, elementary school and for students with special needs. We all know, however, that parents of neurotypical students tend to fade away in Middle School and High School. Partially because their burgeoning teen is actively pushing the parent away, demanding both privacy and control of their life.

For the past year the tables have been turned, and tweens and teens alike are at the kitchen table doing school work, with parents at their side. From an education perspective it is GREAT! Research shows that students with parents involved in their learning excel. From the parents perspective – they have a new sense of the amount of work their child is responsible for. From the students’ view it is mixed. Some students are really thriving in an environment that they don’t have to be quite so social. Others are lonely.

The problem is that we all collectively look at schools as a place to learn academics, which for the most part, is largely true. We really don’t have a good working definition for the purpose of schools. If we were to create a definition and say, “Schools are a place to learn academics.” We would be dead wrong. Immediately what comes to my mind is that this doesn’t include sports and the arts. Perhaps we could add in “School is a place to learn academics, sports and the arts”,  but again, we’d be wrong. We have seen literally millions of meals prepared and distributed to students in need over the past year, so I guess we could add in “Schools are a place to learn academics, sports, the arts and you get meals.” And yes, again we would be missing out on the essence of the school community which is so hard to nail down, because it is different from building to building, even in the same school district.

That essence is the “heart of a school” and it’s all about the expectations from each human being that enters that building. Even at virtual schools, the heart of the school is still about the expectations for genuinely caring about each other, respecting each other, and working together to learn and grow as a community. Granted, in some places this essence has been so buried for so long, it is hard to find. The words may be hung up on signs in the hallways, but they are posted as rules which must be adhered to at the risk of punishment. Again, during this unprecedented past year, this essence has been challenged like never before, as we prioritized connecting: students, disseminating academic lessons, and managing the ever changing schedule of A/B days, synchronous lesson time, asynchronous work time, deep cleaning, social distancing and wearing masks. It has been a superhuman feat by amazing educators nationwide (worldwide really) and it makes me lament for simpler days.

This makes me think about what I wished I had learned in school, and I’ll share a few thoughts with you. I wonder how many of these you will share with me?

When I was in school, I wished I learned that…

… my teachers were real people who didn’t live in the classroom when I went home at the end of the day (a misconception I cleared up by 3rd grade, yet I’ve met many folks who thought the same silly thing as a child.)
… it’s ok not to be best at everything, and that my best effort is what really helps me learn and grow
… my parents didn’t have the same benefit of a robust education that I had
… kids, who I thought were mean or snobbish, were just as frightened and shy as I was
… schools were for more than just the three R’s. They were also for learning how to be a good friend, a contributing member of a community, and an important part of an exciting new tomorrow and the world that was yet to be seen and explored
… that building my EQ (emotional quotient) was just as important as my IQ
… That social emotional learning (SEL) is important for everyone

I think about the students today and what they may have lost, and what they have definitely gained. If you have been reading my posts, you know I am an eternal optimist, thus, I believe that the lessons that students have learned will outweigh the temporary loss. The overarching lesson is that ‘when life hands you lemons you make lemonade’, and yes, this year was horrendous in terms of the loss of life and the disruption to our economy and routines like going to school every day, but we will emerge stronger, and more proficient at things we didn’t even know we could do.

As an educator and a parent, I think that the first thing we need to rebuild is that very precious “essence of our schools” and focus on basic mental health and emotional stability for all – students, teachers, parents, and staff. We can’t deny the trauma that we have all gone through, and yes, is still not over. We need to learn how to recognize the impact of that trauma, and work together to address the very real fears and stress that we carry, to find a common path out of this together. Let’s rebuild that essence of our school community brick by brick.  In short – SEL is more important now than ever before.