Recently a colleague sent me this CNN post. Finally, there is empirical data that shows the correlation between life success and social and emotional skills.

Kelly Wallace is CNN’s digital correspondent and editor-at-large covering family, career and life. Read her other columns and follow her reports atCNN Parents and on Twitter.

(CNN)In our household, we’re still talking about the critically acclaimed box office smash “Inside Out,” Pixar’s animated look at the emotions inside a child’s brain. It came up most recently when we watched Serena Williams cruise to another victory at this year’s Wimbledon, and my youngest daughter, age 7, remarked that her “Joy” (the character who controls happiness in the movie) must be going wild. During the match, Serena’s “Angry” must have been at her brain’s control panel, we all agreed.

I thought of the movie recently as I learned about a new study that showcases just how critical it can be for a child to be able to understand emotions and relate to the world.

Every parent intuitively knows it’s a good thing to teach their child how to share and play well with others, and how to deal with emotions like anger and sadness, but do most of us have any sense of just how important these so-called social and emotional skills can be to our child’s long-term success?

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The new study, a comprehensive 20-year examination of 800 children from kindergarten through their mid-20s published Thursday in the American Journal of Public Health, found a link between a child’s social skills in kindergarten and how well they were doing in early adulthood.

Children who were helpful and shared in kindergarten were more likely to have graduated college and have a full-time job at age 25. The children who had problems resolving conflicts, sharing, cooperating and listening as kindergartners were less likely to have finished high school and college, and were more likely to have substance abuse problems and run-ins with the law.

The findings are “huge” when it comes to the thinking about how brain health impacts a person’s overall health, said Kristin Schubert, program director for the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, which funded the research.

“It’s like a paradigm shift around what it means to be mentally well at an early age and how that dictates how life goes for you later on,” she said.

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Emotional skills can be taught

To conduct the study, researchers from Penn State University and Duke University looked at teacher evaluations of kindergartners’ social competency skills, which were conducted in 1991.

Teachers evaluated the kids based on factors such as whether they listened to others, shared materials, resolved problems with their peers and were helpful. Each student was then given an overall score to rate their positive skills and behavior, with zero representing the lowest level and four for students who demonstrated the highest level of social skills and behavior.

Researchers then analyzed what happened to the children in young adulthood, taking a look at whether they completed high school and college and held a full-time job, and whether they had any criminal justice, substance abuse or mental problems.

For every one-point increase in a child’s social competency score in kindergarten, they were twice as likely to obtain a college degree, and 46% more likely to have a full-time job by age 25.

For every one-point decrease in a child’s social skill score in kindergarten, he or she had a 67% higher chance of having been arrested in early adulthood, a 52% higher rate of binge drinking and an 82% higher chance of being in or on a waiting list for public housing.

“We were surprised but not completely surprised” by the findings, saidDamon Jones of Penn State University, the lead researcher for the study.

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Jones said he and his fellow researchers knew the importance of social and emotional competency in a child’s development, but didn’t quite expect to find as strong a correlation between those skills and a child’s long-term well-being, even with other variables factored out, such as a family’s socioeconomic status and the child’s academic ability.

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What’s heartening from the findings, Jones said, is how social skills can be taught and learned throughout a child’s development.

“Some people might look at this and say, ‘Well, if my child measures low on a scale like this, does this mean my child is doomed or … they are sentenced to all these terrible outcomes?’ ” said Jones, who is a research assistant professor of health and human development at Penn State.

The answer is no, he said, pointing to all the effective ways to address and help children develop good social and emotional skills, whether through schooling or parenting.

“The research greatly shows that these are the type of skills that are malleable, in fact much more malleable than say something like IQ or other things that are more likely traits that are more ingrained.”

‘Far-reaching’ implications

The implications of the study’s findings are far-reaching, said Schubert of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.

First, there’s a message to educators that social and emotional learning can be just as important as cognitive skills.

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“Traditionally, we’re focused much more on academic achievement and more and more we’re realizing through many studies that academic achievement is only one part of making somebody successful,” said Penn State’s Jones.

“If we’re sticking with the schools analogy, it takes the discipline, it takes the motivation, the attitude, the ability to work with others and work with adults to be able to succeed in schools and attain degrees.”

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Business leaders understand the importance of emotional intelligence, Schubert said. In some ways, they grasped this before many who study early childhood, she said.

“They know they want to hire people who can play well with others because they know it actually impacts the bottom line,” she said.

How to teach emotional learning

Parents, there’s a message here for all of us, too, Schubert said: “This stuff matters.”

“If you talk about sharing and learning how to manage emotions and things, I think most parents say, ‘Yeah, I do that,’ ” but they often concede that they don’t exactly know what to do, Schubert said.

“No one really talks about how you do this, so wouldn’t it be great if we started a dialogue about how there are actually a lot of resources out there to help you do it.”

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Enter Sofia Dickens, who became so convinced of the importance of emotional intelligence on life success that she founded a company,EQtainment, which creates board games and toys to help children flex their social and emotional muscles.

“These skills are very simple and it’s something that any parent can work on at home, in their living room, in the car, in the grocery store line, while cooking dinner, while eating dinner,” said Dickens, a mom of three and former television host.

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Dickens said parents can play games like “Red light, green light” and “Freeze tag,” which help kids learn how to control their bodies, and can help them learn how to control their thoughts and emotions.

Another way to practice building “grit and resilience and empathy” in kids is spending time reading with them, she said.

“The only way to accelerate the life experience process, since they’re just kids and don’t have a lot of life experiences, is to go on a journey learning from other people’s life experiences,” she said.

“So when you read a book with your children, ask them questions about how the main character might be feeling or what motivates the main character or what you would do if you were in their shoes.”

Dickens was not involved in the new kindergarten study, but said she wanted to shout the findings “from the rooftop.”

“This study (is) replicating what we already know to be true, which is that (emotional intelligence) has possibly the greatest correlation to school readiness and life success and that’s why it’s something that we really want to invest in when it comes to raising and growing our kids.”

What do you think is the best way to teach children strong social and emotional skills? Share your thoughts with Kelly Wallace on Twitter @kellywallacetv or CNN Parents on Facebook.

Social-Learning-Software-Autism-Help-for-ParentsThe Social Express is a 16-lesson social learning software program designed to provide autism help for parents of children with autism, Asperger’s Syndrome and ADHD.

Autism Help for Parents

Children diagnosed on the autism spectrum do not learn the skills needed to be effective adults in the same way that other children without the autism diagnosis do.

Our program provides autism help for parents by making it easier for you to work with your child with autism between therapy sessions.  The Social Express helps you to reinforce the social skills that your child may be learning in classes or therapy sessions.

The Social Express introduces many skills that are needed for your child to become socially competent. Improved social skills may help your child with autism to make friends more easily.

Children with social learning challenges require direct instruction, with each facet of every skill broken down into small pieces. The Social Express addresses the areas of social skills needs by providing a highly animated, interactive and visual presentation.

Here are a few of the social skills included in our 16-lesson learning program:

– Being With the Group: Keep Your Body Facing the Group

– Pick the Feeling: Use Your Eyes and Brain to Figure Things Out

– Say the Right Thing: Talk About What the Group Is Talking About

How Our Social Learning Software Benefits Your Child

The Social Express is mainly developed to help elementary school age children with autism, Asperger’s and ADHD.  Here are three suggestions for working with the program:

Work through the program along with your child. It is best if you work with your child when using The Social Express learning software. Instead of letting your child interact with the program alone, it’s key to work through the lessons with your child. This way you can more easily reinforce social skills with your child between therapy sessions.

Pause the software to discuss what he or she is learning. When using The Social Express with your child, stop the software in between each lesson. That way you can discuss the social skill being presented by the program with your child. This becomes a “teachable moment” for you with your child.

Review each lesson with your child.  Revisit each lesson and allow your child to select the “wrong” answer. Then you can explain to your child what happens in social situations with other children when someone makes the “wrong” choice.

Join our free newsletter! Get insider updates from The Social Express, click here to join us!

The-Social-Express-and-Healing-Thresholds-Autism

 

Healing Thresholds Autism Therapy is a free website and email newsletter dedicated to healing the lives of families touched by autism. They provide comprehensive therapy fact sheets, daily updates of autism therapy research and news, and a global directory of autism-related therapists and services.

We like using the information resources provided by Autism Healing Thresholds. We’ve certainly learned so much since our twins were diagnosed on the autism spectrum eight years ago. Occasionally though, we need to clarify a term or read more on a kids with autism topic and we check out Healing Thresholds. Check out the website if you’re looking for help with terminology or updates on research about therapies for your child with autism.

Image: Courtesy of Healing Thresholds Autism Therapy

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]One of the things we learned early on the road traveled with our twins with autism is that the public school system provides education services to children beginning at age three if they are behind.  We weren’t prepared for the storm of activity that circles the tipping point of the Third Birthday, launching their voyage of receiving an education with autism.

The boys had already received a diagnosis of PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder- Not Otherwise Specificed) when they were two.  This led to many assessments, floor time, ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapy, speech, occupational and physical therapy, and social work services through the Regional Center.

We were barely on stable ground when we were told that everything we had done, and were doing, would change when the children turn three. Here is a list of the appointments we had around their third birthday prior to starting their education.

  1. Annual physical. Routine ‘it’s your birthday’ check-up.
  2. Regional Center Psychologist. PDD-NOS opens all doors when you are two, but you have to determine if your child has an autism diagnosis by age three, or doors will close.
  3. Social Worker.  Their case load changes for 3 year old’s, so you will meet with a new Social Worker to set goals. If they receive any services at this point, expect the providers to change as well.
  4. The school. Your child will have meetings with the special education teacher, speech and occupational therapist and physical education teacher, and you will schedule your first IEP (Individualized Education Program), the road map of education for children with autism.

All of this had to be scheduled between all of the therapy they were currently receiving, and, being just two, they were still in need of a nap every day.  And, of course having twins, this was all times TWO!  Did I mention finding time to figure out how to celebrate that birthday?  Oh ya, fit that in too.

So, back to school.  The child will need to have the above mentioned meetings so their new team, at their new preschool, will be able to prepare goals for their IEP. You will receive a stack of forms to fill out prior to the meeting asking you to compare your child to a typical child- whatever that is, thus providing your own input.

Having been whipped around so much in recent months caring for two toddlers with autism our first IEP meetings were a surge of information batted at us. We just sat there and tried to take it all in.  The comforting news was they were planning out a whole year.

No more bouncing around, introducing new people, constantly changing schedules.  School is a great set-up. They would now have a place to go, without us, with people we could trust, who had a plan and were ready to execute it. Happy birthday!

In our next post, we’ll share more behind the scenes about how we navigated the school district for our autistic children’s education.  We hope you find some helpful ideas for your own child with autism’s  education journey.  We’re happy to answer your questions.  Just enter them in the comments section below.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]